Random Musings #4

A photo clicked near Church Street, Bengaluru

Hello! Been a while since I got in touch with you. It feels a bit rusty when you stop writing or take a break from your creative activities—life happens. Well, at least I am back, albeit it took me a few travel trips to make it happen. Keep reading to know what my mind has to chatter about in today’s post. Note: I use we, you and I in an interchangeable manner to keep the flow of thoughts intact.

I wrote my last post in January this year when I was down with COVID-19, and could not write anymore after that. I did not want to until now. Sometimes you need to distance yourself from things that consume you to get a better idea of your direction. You write, you paint, you create not knowing ‘what next’ may throw you into a cold sweat. For me, my what next is a feeling. I can jot down tons of ideas but to churn them into blog posts is a love-hate journey sometimes. Plus, a lot of things happened in these few months.

I lost two of my close relatives; the new job that I joined in November 2021 has been the most amazing decision (and has also consumed most of my time); I have some big personal commitments for this year to go through. And then I finally solo travelled to Bengaluru—both for work and fun. So glad I finally could do it after two long years. I will write about it in my next post.

Ever since I hit the age of 30—I am grappling to manage my energy levels most of the time. It is annoying when your energy levels do not stay consistent throughout the week. There are times when under pressure I am motivated to give in my best shot, and then there are days when I want to take sleep without dreams. Oh! The luxury of uninterrupted sleep without dreams.

I am overwhelmed by so many things I want to learn and do. Whether it is practising calligraphy, completing my online courses or writing and reading more. I know what I want to do, but the doing gets tough. Especially when life throws uncertainties in your way. I have realised that routines are not meant to be perfect—it can be followed on a day-to-day basis. You do not need to plan the larger picture. Thinking of the bigger picture can put you off. We see the best of examples from Day 1 and instead of feeling inspired, we end up making a comparison that does not make sense, but it still makes you question, will I ever be that good? Well, you will never know until you try.

We live in such a picture-perfect world that it takes courage to put down your foot, recalibrate your direction and nourish your beliefs in what you want to do without feeling FOMO. It is okay to take breaks and forget algorithms that put undue pressure on creating. That is a wrong way to put it; it indeed has helped so many people out there to do what they love the most, but it takes a toll if the metrics go down. The external influence sometimes get in the way of your process more that you want to admit.

Working as a marketing analyst, I sometimes worry if my writing gets influenced and my style changes based on keywords, perfect title search, hashtags, etc. The pure joy of writing and creating without involving analytics is debatable. I suppose this is a similar dilemma that many authors out there face when publishing companies put in the input based on their audience research. Are we writing for readers to enjoy, or are we writing what feels true to us? I know these thoughts will change over time. The more we do something, the better we get at it. In the end, the intention of art is to simply create it—how it gets translated, understood, or inspired by minds will always remain in question.

Thank you so much for reading this post. Cheers!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

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A closet writer with a knack for adding vivid, witty & personal details. I love coffee, books and food. Highly appreciate lo-fi music and illustrations. Borderline obsessed with stationery, productivity and organisation tools. Always in search of adventures & stories by travelling or being buried in books. Current Status ↠ Growing plants in my room. Life Goals ↠ Spark conversations, ideas & inspiration with a cup of mild roasted black coffee.

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