Nothing in this world is complimentary.
My father used to tell me this, and for years I thought he was just being cynical. Nothing in this world is complimentary, he’d say, watching me expect things to come easily. I’d roll my eyes, thinking he didn’t understand how the world worked. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized he wasn’t being negative. He was teaching me something important about value and intention.
Everything I’ve ever wanted has asked something of me. That skill I admired in others? It demanded hours of practice when I’d rather be doing anything else. The relationships that actually sustain me? They require my presence, my vulnerability, and my willingness to show up even when it’s uncomfortable. Even the things that seem free aren’t really. That clean mountain air I crave? I have to plan the trip, make the drive, and invest the time to get there.
My father was right, but not in the way I first understood. It’s that anything worth having asks us to invest something of ourselves, our time, our energy, our attention, or our money. The question isn’t whether something costs us. The question is, what am I willing to give for what I truly value?
Now when I want something precious, I ask myself what it’s asking of me. Usually, it’s asking for more than I first realized. Is it then worth having? It really depends on how badly you want it.
